I have been told

I have been told I’m wise
but that’s a pack of lies.

I’ve been told I’m clever
but only cos they’ve never
seen the contents of my head
because really, I’m brain dead.
I go through the motions
without any notion
of why.

I’ve been told I’m shy
timid, quiet
that I let
people talk over me,
but it’s hard when I fail to see
the point of the interaction.
there is a fraction
of me, buried deep
as though asleep.
it occasionally breaks through
and I want it to
though the effort it takes to make it happen
more often makes me batten
down the hatches, weather the storm
and this becomes the norm.

I have been told I’m kind
when the fact is that in my mind
I’m not
I have fought
to maintain this facade
of a trait I never had.

I have been told I’m a great many things
but very little rings
true
and I have work to do.

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