it’s cold outside,
she opens the windows wide,
letting in the bitter wind
– it helps her to feel something.
these days, she doesn’t feel much,
so out of touch
numbness has crept into every corner,
so she feels like a foreigner
in her increasingly small body.
there was a time when she felt everything,
emotions crashing like waves upon a shore
until she couldn’t take it anymore.
it was terrible, and beautiful
all at once.
she hated it at the time
– though she pretended she was fine.
it pummelled her small fluttery-bird heart
until it was ready to fly away.
found it increasingly impossible to stay.
it was painful, raw
she would have given anything
to make it stop
(and she nearly did).
but now, feelings hid
she sees the beauty in emotion
– longs to feel it again
but how is beyond her ken.
so she opens the windows wide,
hoping the cold will penetrate inside.